The YouTube comments for the Ghostbusters trailer will make you wish for death’s sweet embrace

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Sony Pictures premiered the trailer for Ghostbusters this week, and it was pretty good! My concern when Paul Feig was announced as director was that the film would be too heavy on comedy over horror, but this footage made it clear the reboot will attempt to be as spooky as the original. Its special effects are fabulous, and within 40 seconds, we have a character getting covered in ghost vomit. I’m in. The majority of gags made me chuckle, a reassuring sign considering how funny the first installment is. All in all, with the exception of the updated theme, it’s all solid. At the very worst, it seems like it will at least be a remarkably average reboot.

So I was surprised to find Sony’s official upload on YouTube had an overwhelming amount of dislikes and thousands upon thousands of comments reacting as if the studio released footage of Bill Murray getting beheaded by ISIS.

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What’s going on? Are people just opposed to the idea of making a third Ghostbusters, and they think the franchise should have been left alone? Let’s find out!

I delved deep into what the Internet had to say, and I left the experience a broken man.

First it should be noted that, no, having the opinion that the remake does not look up to snuff isn’t inherently misogynist. If you did not laugh, or if you think the trailer looks generic and boring, that is a valid take. But this was not the sentiment of most YouTubers. No, instead they lashed out at PC Hollywood’s sinister plot to force women into movies that belong to us men, dammit. Let’s take a look.Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.10.41 PMI did not go digging for this. It is the top rated comment. When you scroll down the page, it’s the first thing you see, and 549 separate individuals living on this Earth gave it a thumbs up in less than one hour. Sony has been deletihng some of the most horrifying posts, but they literally can’t keep up.

Against my better judgement, I did not immediately close out the page.

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.10.56 PM.pngApparently, just the fact that a film stars four women makes it feminist. Note that there is not a single line in the trailer referencing the Ghostbusters being female. The women simply exist on screen, which frankly is just too much for us to handle. How are we expected to sit through bullshit feminist movies where women live on the Earth alongside men? Come on, Hollywood!Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.11.29 PM.pngHmm okay, this person thinks the film will be disappointing, but hey, at least they aren’t blaming the quality on…oh, nevermind. There it is. How dare the studio put vaginas in our faces. Get those vaginas out of our faces. We need more dicks. Dicks in our faces, please.Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.30.03 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.30.14 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.34.31 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.36.31 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.35.25 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.36.35 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.37.33 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.38.12 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.39.29 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.40.06 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.41.35 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.42.11 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.42.18 PM
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Keep in mind, I did not go through several days of comments in an attempt to find the most vile. This is nearly the entire page, and everything you’ve read so far has been posted in the past 60 minutes alone. 

I just…I just don’t get it. How can this reaction be explained? If the trailer was made up primarily of jokes about men vs. women, or the new characters were frequently commenting on being superior to their male counterparts or something like that, I could maybe see how a bunch of salty man-children would come out of the woodwork to spew hatred. The studio took a funny family movie about ghosts, they might argue, and turned it into a platform for social issues. But no! The gender of the Ghostbusters literally plays zero part in this. It’s a teaser that functions exactly as the original Ghostbusters did, except the actors happen to not have penises. Are penises an ultra significant part of the story? Did I miss something?

Not only that, but many of the same folks leaving these hot god damn takes are also complaining about the studio recycling the identical storyline. They should just “do something new.” Hmm, something new, eh? Like, I don’t know, seeing what the film would look like with women instead of men? You know, so as not to repeat what we’ve seen before? Just spitballing here.

These people are livid that the plot isn’t being changed enough, but changing the gender of the main characters? Come on, that’s just a step too far.

Going back to the first two Ghostbusters, does the gender of the team have anything to do with the plot at all? Nope, and you could have women portray the leads while barely altering the script whatsoever. So how is mixing things up in the reboot, if only to keep it fresh and to not reproduce the same shit we saw last time, such a heinous fucking concept?

I don’t know what to say here. When the cast of Star Wars: The Force Awakens was announced, a vocal minority expressed outrage that one of the characters was black, but they were on the fringe, and the preponderance of commenters were clearly trolls. Losers from 4chan went around trying to rile us up by pretending to be upset that the hero wasn’t white. Very few were actually was bothered by John Boyega’s presence, as far as I could tell.

But here? At least a plurality of YouTube viewers genuinely believe the new Ghostbusters is liberal propaganda and Paul Feig has ruined the franchise because he filled it with female comedians, and I’m not ready to live on a planet where that’s the case.

This movie will probably be great, but honestly, we don’t deserve it anymore. I would not blame Sony for canceling the project out of pure spite and pulling the Hollywood equivalent of turning this shitty car around. Sure, fine, guys. Go enjoy your dumb, macho Fast and Furious movies and jerk yourselves off thinking about how Max didn’t have enough dialogue in Fury Road because feminists ruined it. Fucking morons.

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